All You Can Be

I was talking with a compatriot several decades younger than myself about the messages we get as children. I wondered what the vagaries of difference in the message, if any, might be between those who grew up in lower and middle income areas, and those who grew up amongst the top of the ladder both economic and social. The conversation took an interesting detour.
I was talking about the message that "you can be anything you want to be", "you can do anything", given hard work and dedication.
This message rang loud and clear in my childhood. It was everywhere, from school to scouts, church to TV programs. Yes I knew that I was probably never going to be an Olympic gymnast -but- the apple hung out there IF you cared enough and worked hard enough, you could try.
That was even the patriotic message, that in the US you were free to try. In my day there were even scholarships and grants to make that college somewhat within reach. Or you could work your way through.

My friend didn't get the same message. The message was there , but half-hearted. Something you said to kids, but didn't really believe. I'm trying to remember TV from the 80's. Was it part of the message there?

Now I went to school during a wonderful, inspirational time in US history. JFK, Martin Luther King, the Feminist and Civil Rights movements, NASA put a man on the moon. Many of the people of my parents generation were the first to graduate High School and thanks to the GI Bill many had gone to college. And of course our economy was growing.

My friend went to school after these great leaders had been killed. The civil rights movement was stuck in recalcitrant racism. Income levels were flat for the average worker, but we hadn't yet defined the problem (Reagan was telling us we were better off). Feminism had put women to work, but hadn't leveled the playing field either in wages or home and child care. Divorce had soared and a generation learned that families and marriages were easily broken.

I grew up with Leave it to Beaver, my friend with The Simpsons.

Are these the reasons for our difference in perception, or was I simply naive and my friend more cynical? I'd like to hear from folks of all ages. What was your experience as a child?

Water Water Everywhere but No Place to Swim

I live in the center of the Finger Lakes Region of NYS. At the tip of one of the largest lakes that is fed by a multitude of streams which cascade down the hills cutting gorges which end in streams flowing through town to the lake shore. As a matter of fact, I live within 20 blocks of the lake shore, and within a block of one of these splendid creeks.
The city or town has a beautiful large park at the foot of the lake with a long sweeping shoreline. Swimming has not been allowed there since the 1960's when a child drowned because the turbidity of the water prevented him from being seen. I have not been able to find via Google search the cause of that pollution.
The myriad creeks are all walled off from the public. Some of this is natural from the creeks cutting deep gorges into the shale formations. This loose shale is a dangerous climb though many do it every day, Perhaps because of the lack of safe access provided? In other areas cement walls have been built presumably to maintain flood control and to provide a strong and wide roadway for cars where once were narrow lanes to houses along the creek.
The creeks could provide numerous small swimming holes for all the neighborhoods in the community. Not great swimming but a place to cool off and relax with the kids. Instead the city has two crowded pools. One actually in town, the other in the outskirts, across a major highway and through a difficult intersection. Not the best place for those of us who choose to live the car-free life.
There are numerous State Parks in the area, but the powers that be, in their wisdom, stopped running busses to them, or the busses only run during the work day.
There are two places where I believe swimming is technically prohibited but apparently ignored. One at the foot of a waterfall on the edge of the city but within the downtown neighborhood, and the other further out along the lake. Many folks use this access when the weather is too hot to handle. Surprisingly the lake access is near a new facility that many folks feel contributes to the pollution and specifically the turbidity of the lake. Go figure.
I had assumed that one reason for the lack of access had to do with municipalities knee-jerk fear of law suits. We are always told that we can't have this or that because of "safety issues" that might cause "law suits" and increase "insurance premiums". Yet these access points to swimming have been used for generations and the city, town and county still stand. The falls access is sometimes closed for emergencies when a body flows downstream from a more hazardous location. Perhaps safe access to more locations would prevent most of the accidentals.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

I went to see the Swedish movie "Män som hatar kvinnor", based on the book "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson. I had read the book a year or so ago, and had heard about the film from co-workers, so I knew it was a disturbing and violent film.
I am not sure how I would have reacted if I had not read the book. I loved the film. What I liked most is that the film was gritty. Unlike American films the actors had flaws, they did not look plastic. Nor did the scenery. The buildings looked as if they actually existed warts and all. The movement of the characters looked real.
One effect of this reality was to portray the sexual violence as violent. To my sensibilities this film evoked the very disturbing nature of sexual violence. This film has a scene of sexual violence against a man. It is very graphic.
Watching that scene made me think about why men just don't grasp the reality of sexual violence aginst women. I realized that it is because most men do not experiance it. If you are a woman who is fortunate enough to have not been raped, assaulted or abused, you most likely know several women who have.

According to RAINN: The nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization.

1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. (1 in 33 men)
Every 2 minutes someone in the US is sexually assaulted.
44% of sexual assault victims are under 18.
15% are under 12.
Only 6% of all rapists ever spend a day in jail.

See the film. Afterward, think about that scene. Look around you and think of 1 in every 6 guys you know having experienced something akin to that. Then think about how you would feel if women routinely sat around masturbating to those images. Then you will have a slight idea of what it means to be a woman in the US and trying to have a healthy relationship with sex.

Under the Flood

Water defines me in many ways. I am drawn to water like a magnet. Only common sense keeps me from jumping into open water in freezing temperatures, or when it runs in a torrent. I feel a connection with the rocks bravely shouldering the force of the current.
Each day I pass over a creek on my way to and from work. Most days it is a quickly moving but very shallow stream, the pebbles clearly visible. Ducks float on its surface. For a few short days of spring I can watch fish struggle upstream to spawn.
This week the stream has been a raging torrent of muddy water as the warm weather has melted the foot of snow we had piled up from the last snow storm. Even the larger rocks are hidden under the dark water.
This made me think of how we feel overwhelmed by circumstances in our life. We want to just give up because the fight seems so hard. But we musn't forget that we are making a difference. Those rocks are changing the course of the flow, even when the water is so deep we can't see it, and so are we.

Porcine Concentration Camps

I love pork, and I love pigs. Pigs are wonderful creatures. They are smart like people, and expressive like people, they like to cuddle like people. I came upon this picture from a friend's Facebook post.
After looking around the net I discovered that in many commercial industrial pig production facilities (I won't call them farms)sows are kept in crates like this most of their life.
Sows are put in farrowing crates when they have a litter. I knew about that. It helps to protect the baby pigs from crushing. They are artificially inseminated very soon after birth. When the piglets are weaned the sow goes into a crate like this. (previous practice had them go into pens w/ other sows, and they were not bred again until AFTER the piglets were weaned)

I will be carrying this picture with me. Every time I am tempted to eat bacon or sausage or a pork roast, I will look at this picture. If the pork is not verifiably from a farm that raises its pork in a compassionate, sane manner - I won't eat it.

No Profiling

I hate to admit I'm prejudiced -but-
This morning I was at the laundromat. It was just me and some redneck housepainter doing his wool socks, flannel shirts and overalls. He had a crewcut, looked like he knew his way around a beer bottle and was wearing a carhardt jacket.
I didn't have anything to read so I turned on the TV. One of the public access channels was broadcasting the audio of Democracy Now. I sat down to listen to Amy tell about the travesty of justice in the Blackwater scandal, and was sort of lost in thought when the redneck says, "You watchin' this?"
Immediately I expected him to start complaining about the show and how it was bullsh** and unpatriotic and could he change the channel.
Instead he says, " kinda depressing isn't it?".
Well for the next half hour we had a conversation about the economy, industrial farming, manufactured food products, etc. We agreed that the problems were so complex it was depressing because it was hard to figure out where to start cleaning up the mess.
One place I'm going to start is on myself. I know better to assume that a redneck (a working class rural white person actually) is necessarily not progressive thinking, intellectual or liberal. For crying out loud - I'm a rural working class white person!!! So are most of my friends and family!
From now on I'm going to join in conversation with folks. Get to know a few more people and learn from everyone.