Friday, December 30, 2011

Untouchable

How often do you touch another human being? How often are you touched by another person?
Perhaps you are a parent of young children, or you have a lover, or you are a caregiver. This question then may seem very weird to you.

I am an untouchable. I am fat - who wants to touch that. I'm old, but not old enough to be considered non-sexual. I am a woman who has worked her entire life in a male dominated industry, where touch has become dangerous. I am a NY'er, our reserve is legendary. I am a recent emigre' so I do not have a history with the other folks in my community.

Listening to an interview with Russell Banks about his book Lost Memory of Skin, it dawned on me how easy it is for me to go a whole day without touching anyone. Not even accidently. Though I work directly interacting with the public, I mostly never touch them. If it happens it is the accidental touch of our fingers as I hand them their change.

How common is this? Certainly I can think of other outcasts in our community who probably find this to be true. The smelly homeless guy. The crazy street lady. But how common is this amongst people who seem to lead ordinary lives? And what does it mean for society that it is so prevalent?

I am nervous to mention that almost all of my human contact is with children. Will you assume I am a pedophile? Or will you recognize that I am a Grandmother whose grandchildren are still young enough to freely hug an old lady?