Beyond that - I obsessed over the idea that my husband, was blithely passing the day away with his new honey totally oblivious to the life he had thrown away.
Most of the day wasn't too bad. Interacting with customers kept my mind mostly off of the anniversary cards that I wanted to deface and send to him. The evening with my friend kept our conversation around local issues. And at first I was tired enough to sink into sleep, comfy under the quilt.
Then, after the initial exhaustion had worn away, came the tossing and turning. My daughters were out partying. With my blessing and encouragement at a charity event that I did not wish to attend. Loud music is not, and really has never been my thing. They are oblivious to the days significance, having long since moved beyond it.
Not me - oh no. I reviewed my wedding day, or rather that night. We spent our wedding night in my Aunt's camper van, on my parents lawn. We couldn't afford a honeymoon, and we needed to be around to do barn chores. We had planned our wedding to be between haying season and corn harvest. Weeks of rain had kind of messed that up,but our day turned sunny and nice, for our indoor/outdoor reception.
These years were supposed to be a return to our beginnings. A time when I could finally turn my attention back to my farm after retiring from an exhausting career that had turned completely sour. Instead, the rat bastard, stuck in the knife, twisted it and stood there smiling. Bitter? Yeah. I am.
No comments:
Post a Comment