Oh Poop!

Let's say you live on a nice piece of property in a small community. Let's say I bought a piece of property next door to you. Let's say I built an apartment complex that housed 4000 people. Now let's say that to handle the sewage I built a large pond. Open to the air. Somewhat vulnerable to run off. 

Are you happy with me? Are you happy with the governmental bodies that say this is OK?

Now let's say that once or twice a year I spread this sewage so thickly on the fields around you that it looks like someone has troweled on black cement. 

Are you happy now? 

Local governments have done a lot in my area to correct inadequate sewer systems for homes. The new regulations concerning pumping tanks, and adequate leach fields help to control standing water and runoff issues and to protect our wells and waterways. Systems that were adequate when we bathed less often and used wringer washers that reused water for several loads, needed to be updated for our current habits of daily showers, dishwashers and changing clothes for every activity. 

Manure handling on livestock facilities have not changed much. Manure lagoons were a good idea, allowing for manure to be stored and then spread at optimal times for crop fertilization, with the idea of immediate plowing under to reduce loss of nitrogen to the air, and runoff. These systems were developed when the farms in my area had 50 to 100 head of milking cows. 

Are they sufficient for a facility that houses 100 times that many?

More later on how these facilities impact the financial lives of their neighbors.

Christmas for Soprano Recorder

For Christmas, my son, gave a recorder and instruction booklets to me and my two grandchildren (note: neither of these children are his, nor do they live near him). If you are not familiar with the recorder, it is a small plastic flute like instrument that is played similarly to a clarinet. It is prone to squeaking. It can be very loud. It is difficult to play quietly. My grandchildren are seven years old. 

I live in a very small studio apartment in the upstairs of a house. My landlord, a dignified middle age man, lives in the rest of the house. The walls are so thin we sometimes find ourselves whistling the same tune.

My eldest daughter and my grandaughter live in a small four unit apartment building. It seems to be well insulated. I don't usually hear what her neighbors are up to except in the summer when everyone's windows are open. My daughter does not tolerate noise or discord well at all.

My grandson and his Mom live upstairs in a duplex home she owns. This daughter embodies chaos. The downstairs tenants are young men in their twenties whose tastes run to vidieo games like Halo and the guitar game.

Who do you suppose will kill my son first?

a) my landlord

b) daughter number one

c) daughter number one's neighbors?

I'll keep you posted.....

What's to Come?

A terrifying thought came to me the other day.  I thought about what my daughters' answers would be if I asked them "how many marriages do you know that have worked?". I did ask my oldest and my fears were confirmed when I saw her face screw up in thought. Now - given that they are old enough to consider whether or not a marriage is "working" whether or not the coupe has stayed married. Still, at their age, I would have had to think hard to think of marriages that had failed. That's quite a change in one generation.

Growing up there were no divorces in the extended family I knew. I didn't have a friend from a divorced home until I was in 7th grade. I did have several friends who were living with widowed parents. Our parents were the WWII generation so that's not so surprising.

What does this mean in terms of the future? Certainly marriage has not been killed by the prospect of same sex marriage. We hetero's have done a bang up job of killing our marriages all by ourselves. 

What happened?

Is there hope or is marriage an un-natural state?

Is there a new marriage formula in the winds?

What are/will be the expectations of today's children?

Touch

What does it mean to be touched? How does it change one? And how does how we are touched change us? What is the effect of who touches us in what ways?
I recently experienced two instances of being touched that made me ask these questions. We have all heard and read about the devastating effects of being touched sexually by the wrong person, at the wrong age or in a wrong way. In these cases I am reflecting on appropriate touch by welcomed persons, in non-sexual circumstances.
I was busy at work one afternoon when a former co-worker, whom I consider a friend, came into our building. He walked up beside me, put his arm around my shoulder, his head near mine and gave me a hug. I was struck by the warmth and intimacy of the hug. It was truly friendly. It was not the perfunctory hug we often give to friends, this person was glad to see me again.
The other episode happened at my church after I had been away traveling for several months. There were hugs all around from my friends whom I had surprised by coming home at least a month early. My women friends squealed and giggled accordingly. There were the warm quick hugs allowed between married friends after we all reach a certain age.
One gentleman took my face in his hands, looked me in the face and smiled. Those three actions made the difference. How long had it been since someone other than my grandchildren had touched my face? How often do we really look at someone in the face? How often do we really look at someone and smile at them?
A divorced friend of mine said the first thing she had to learn was that she would not die if she had no one to hold and touch her. Of course infants will die. They can be provided with every nourishment they need, but without touch they will languish and die. I disagree with my friend. I believe adults also languish and die in a way without touch. We become distorted in some way. As adults we have the ability to substitute the touch of an animal, a warm bath or ourselves. Without a positive substitution we become bitter, closed off from ourselves and others, and very lonely.
The current attention is on inappropriate touch, and Lord knows there is way to much of that, but think what a pat on the back, a soft touch on the arm or a smile might do for those we meet through our day. If touch might be considered an invasion of propriety, then try looking at your friend, customer, co-worker, in the face and smile. Perhaps we should start each day doing the same for ourselves. Look yourself in the mirror and smile. It might be the best medicine you'll have all day. And hey - a hug might be nice too.

A New Person

We are home a month early from our retreat to the south. Yeah the temperatures are colder and we have had a little snow but it is good to be home to our peaceful rural town with little or no traffic and lots of quiet. And good to be in easy reach of our Grankids.

It has been difficult for me to deal with almost nothing to do. Hey how long does it take to clean an RV from stem to stern? I have been crocheting for charity and family and have taught myself to knit, but even that feels like sloughing off after years of working long hours.

Yesterday I felt like a new woman. In the north we have the luxury of hooking up on a large piece of property owned by our friends. We are close enough to easily be together and far enough to have privacy and alone time. I have been given the gift of a large chunk of ground to garden. Yesterday was my first day to play in the dirt. 

I am cleaning out a section around some trees and adding the ground around the water hook up so it doesn't need to be mowed. Plans are for an area for each of the grandkids, a sandbox and swing set, a place for the picnic table, flowers, some veggies and to clean up around the berry bushes.

I feel alive and with a sense of purpose. I love working out of doors and I love gardening. My husband loves being left alone in front of the TV set. I sat out until late at night by the campfire and today the Grands are coming to play in the dirt too. Life is good!

The State of Daycare

What is it with the state of daycare? At least in my part of the country. For one thing they are open limited hours so that if you work a regular 40 hour week it is very difficult to get there in time to pick your child up after work, and heaven forbid if your boss needs you to do overtime, or if you work nontraditional hours.
The biggest puzzle to me is how often they are closed. In our county most daycares are closed EVERY time that the public schools are closed. Holidays, snow days, vacations, parent-teacher conference, etc. Just at the time when the need for daycare swells, most of the daycares close, and most employers will not let you bring your child to work with you, often for good reasons.
Now how many people can take off that much time from work? Even if you used all your sick, optional and vacation days? Not to mention that you would then not have the days to use if you or your child are sick.
This has become a major problem for my children since Gandma and Grampa don't live in the same town anymore. The kids try to swap off as much as they can but that puts a strain on the one who works nights, as she can nap when her own child is home but not when both kids are there.
The schools have after school programs but not enough to cover all the children who need them, and that does not help with the days school is closed.
Are there communities out there who have solved this problem? I'd like to hear about them

Fuzzy Logic

As you can see I have not been on-line for a while and have fallen behind on my writing. I haven't exactly started my new life either. A bout with a particularly nasty bacteria requiring an incision and potent antibiotics and pain killers has left me struggling to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. I managed to literally plow my way through a couple of easy books, but that's all. Yesterday was the first day I didn't sleep most of the afternoon away.
I really can't complain much. I received very good emergency health care from some wonderful people who helped me to relax and get through some painful experiences. Being sick while away from home brings it's own concerns but I must say everything went very well and they even handled my insurance company.
It is interesting how bad an antibiotic can make you feel. There is of course the upset stomach, but also tiredness and a foggy brain. I'm not sure how much of that is from the infection and how much from the drugs.
I do not have experience with recreational drugs. I am too afraid of losing control. I do have experience with prescription drugs for depression. I can't recommend any of them. They all seem to make me sleepy. I always tell the doctor ," I can be lazy all on my own, what I need is something to get me going". I have a feeling I would love uppers, but so far have not tried them other than being a coffee freak, and an adrenalin junkie. I always wait til the last minute and then the pressure of a deadline usually gets me going.
So here's to good health and clear thinking, may you have it and enjoy it.